Overcoming Porn Addiction
Are you falling down a rabbit hole…
… maybe wondering how you got here?
You look up halfway down but feel powerless to climb back up, so you let yourself keep falling.
You know all too well what it’s doing to you…
You spend more time and energy trying to hide this preoccupation than on things that are meaningful to you. You are not moving forward in life, and you notice everyone around you is.
You believe that this behavior is unhealthy, but you enjoy it, and you’re troubled by the contradiction.
Maybe you’ve broken trust in a relationship you really care about, or you’re afraid to share your secret with the person with whom you want a deeper relationship.
The Internet, books, other’s advice are useless.
And then there’s the truth…
Orgasms rock.
The question we’re really dealing with is…
How meaningful is this orgasm to you?
An orgasm is often filled with meaning and connection in a relationship, but with porn, it often feels meaningless and empty.
A lot is going on beneath the surface…
The problem is that addict voice in your head. Hint: This is not you. It’s a message you have learned along the way.
But that addict is convinced that porn is the only and best way to help you deal with life. And, so far, he has been in control.
The addict says,
“Feeling aroused? Go to porn.”
“Lonely? Porn.”
“Bored? Porn.”
You are following this directive before you even realize it. And you feel defeated again and again because you’re failing to follow through on your resolution to change your behavior.
You are not in control of the situation anymore. The addict is. You’re hijacked.
That’s why it’s hard to resolve the problem on your own. Even when you hear that voice in your head saying, “You could stop… you should stop,” it’s nearly impossible to pull yourself out of the fall.
We can help you break the cycle. Here’s how…
First, we need to slow you down so that you can look up long enough to question the addict. We’ll do this by developing self-awareness. What is actually happening around you and inside you when you feel that impulse to look at porn?
We will work to understand where that “addict voice” is coming from by asking some questions:
Why is he there? Is there some point in your history where that hungry, addicted voice became the dominant voice? Maybe when you were 11 and saw porn for the first time. Perhaps you experienced sexual trauma. We’ll do a deep dive into your history to better understand yourself and the wounds that reinforce the addict’s messages of illicit comfort and shame. We’ll then install new belief systems in their place that have self-esteem instead of shame at their core.
What does he want? Sadly, he wants to help. He wants to soothe you, to help you feel better. He just does it in contradiction to all of your values. He’s short-sighted, not realizing that other elements mean you will get hurt more if you listen to him. We will identify the triggers that prompt you to look at porn. After we understand them, we will look for alternative responses that align with your values. You will develop enough self-awareness to recognize the hijacking addict and say to him, “Yes, that’s one option, but I have other options – options that are more in line with my values.”
What are his strategies? Often, his strategy to maintain power is to stay in the shadows, convincing you it is too shameful to open up and talk about. But the less you address the issue, the more control he maintains. We will turn on the light and expose him. You will learn to recognize the addict’s voice and distinguish it from yours because you and the addict are NOT the same.
Once we get to that point, we’ll start establishing healthier behaviors. In the past, you may have started here, trying to force a change in your behavior, but you often failed because you hadn’t done the right background work. I can help.
You CAN live free from this.
Are you ready?
Call today to set up your free phone consultation: (423) 414-4047.
We’ll take this next step together because lasting change is within your reach.